Major Behavioral Changes

When Tanishk's behaviors were so bad in his last vacations, we were not able to control his behavior through ABA therapy and motivational system, and most of the time we spent in screams, shouting and crying. I was so frustrated all the time and wanted to have a quick solution, as it was creating a hindrance in his learning too. He was not able to focus or concentrate on any thing. I decided to find out other ways to help him to calm down & be more focused and attentive. I read about Sensory Integration Therapy, Massage Therapy, Bio-medical Intervention and Dietary Intervention. And also I tried to find out more activities to keep him engaged every time.

Already, I was following the GFCF diet. We were wondering where we are going wrong. I was reading a book on Digestive Enzymes - Enzymes for Autism and other Neurological Conditions written by Karen Defelice. This book says that if we give proper digestive enzymes to our autistic kids, their gut can heal sooner and it is also possible that we don't need to give any specific diet to our kids, just digestive enzymes will also be sufficient for gut health. So, I started to give digestive enzymes regularly to Tanishk. I started to give Papaya & Pineapple more as these two fruits have digestive enzymes.

Tanishk was so much hyperactive those days and very much uncontrollable. My husband was suspicious about thyroid medication and also digestive enzymes. Then I & my husband decided that we should stop all the medications and supplements, and then we should introduce them one by one. That worked amazingly. His behaviors were lessened.

We started only thyroid medication and B12 shots. Then we started Oxytocin nasal spray prescribed by doctor and also gave calcium-magnesium supplement. The day when we gave Tanishk his liquid calcium-magnesium supplement, his behavior was tremendously changed. That day was totally amazing day. I was doing his therapy and I had to take the data on his behavior. He was so much focused and attentive. He did everything very nicely and he was complying all the instructions. He did puzzle so nicely and without any behavior. I was shocked to see that he even didn't need any prompt for his tasks. :) 

I read a book Unraveling the Mystery of Autism and Pervasive Developmental Disorder: A Mother's Story of Research & Recovery written by Karyn Seroussi. This book tells us about the dietary intervention / elimination diet. This book gives much stress on the GFCF diet and says every one will get benefit by it, even if they don't have behavioral problems. After reading this book, I started to believe strongly in dietary intervention. Now, my theory is that instead of taking so much supplement tablets or gels, we should eat the proper food which contains all needed nutrients. We should try to get most of the nutrition through diet. I started to include more vegetables and fruits in diet, started to cook food that needs very less cooking.

Recently we saw few major changes in Tanishk. He was calmed down. Now he has less behavioral issues. He has become more attentive. Yes, still he has behaviors but less frequent. He still repeats the things & talks, but also listens to us. He reads the books, plays with toys appropriately. He solves the puzzles more focused. His handwriting and coloring are also improved a lot. He has become more cautious about his behavior, people around him and their reactions. He corrects his behavior when I give him a quiet look.

He plays hide & seek with his father. He likes squeezing against us. He understands most of the things what are they. But he doesn't understand reasoning. Why he should wait? Why he should not run or jump anywhere? Why should he be quiet sometimes or loud sometimes?

He understands word quiet & loud. We got to know that when we went to the library & read a book about quiet & loud. When he was reading, he was changing his tone appropriately for quiet & loud things. He was awesome. But, when someone is sleeping and we tell him that he should be quiet or whisper, but he doesn't understand.

Tanay's Birthday

2 Dec 2011. Tanay has completed his 2 years of life. We planned to have birthday party for him and to invite 3-4 neighborhood kids. But with passage of time, Tanishk's behaviors were worsened and we were not sure how will he behave when children will come in the party. I knew that Tanay will enjoy the party, but still he doesn't have idea about the birthday. So, we decided not to have any party.

I decided to bake the cake myself. So, I thought about it thoroughly. I wanted to make something new which no one has eaten earlier. First I thought, I should make the chocolate cake, but I made chocolate cake on Tanishk's birthday and I wanted this time very much different.

Finally, I baked a pineapple cake. I didn't know it, that it will be so yummy. Yes, indeed pineapple cake is very delicious to eat. But why did I chose the pineapple cake? There is a reason behind it. That is the different story in my next post Major Behavioral Changes. Just now, I know that Pineapple has proteolytic enzyme, bromelain, which breaks down protein.

So, I baked two round pineapple cakes, and then I applied frozen gluten free frosting on one cake. That was leftover, so was enough to cover only one cake. I put other cake on the cake with frosting. I made new frosting - Coconut Cream Frosting sweetened with Agave. Then I applied it on the cake and above of that I decorated the cake with slivered almonds. Then, pineapple cake with coconut cream frosting was ready to cut.

Pineapple cake with coconut cream frosting and decorated by slivered almonds

Tanay has blown the candle & is ready to cut the cake

Half of the cake is already finished

Both kids were happy to see the cake and wanted to touch it. Tanishk was saying again & again "I want to blow the candle & cut the cake". We told him that Tanay will cut the cake as it's his birthday. Tanay was also happy to see the cake but it was new for him. He tried to blow the candle and he cut the cake with help of his father.

Tanishk was so excited that he wasn't sitting still. He ate the cake & liked the cake. He was asking for more cake. Overall his behavior was good. He also wished "Happy Birthday" to Tanay. He was repeating sentence after 2-3 days - "It's Tanay's birthday". Tanay also liked the cake. I was happy to see my kids happy. :)

After long time

I didn't write anything after my last post in July. I thought but I didn't get any time to write in these days. My both sons made me very busy. In these 5 months, there were so many ups and downs.

As I had written in my last post Summer Vacations, that Tanishk's vacations went great in june. But again when his vacations started in August, it was not that great. I tried my best, but this time it became very tough to get him focused on the tasks. Every-time he wanted to go out. He started to show his tantrums - screaming, shouting and crying loudly. He wasn't ready to understand any reasoning. But It was not so bad too.

I followed the activity schedule and gave him rewards on his completion of tasks and good behaviors. He became more aware but was less focused. His sensory issues were major. His nail biting, teeth grinding, touching his toes, picking up nose, pressing his lips, jumping and running here and there, not sitting still, looking from the corner of eye, lying down on the floor, walking on the toes, playing with the wheels instead of cars, pressing the buttons of the gadgets, verbal stim, flipping the books etc.

Tanay is also growing up and seeking my attention especially when I was trying to concentrate on Tanishk. Now Tanay is also not easy to keep busy. He also has started to cry and scream for most of the things. He also wanted everything Tanishk has. He wants to sit where Tanishk is sitting. When I want Tanishk to sit still, Tanay comes and pushes him. Tanishk gets distracted when Tanay makes noises or plays. They make fight for one common thing - car, book, toys etc. Still, they are like that. They both are at same level and wanted to play with same thing at same time. They don't want to share at all.

Now Tanay has grown up strong and has also become very particular about things he wants. If he wants something, then he wants it surely. No negotiations please. It is same for food. If he doesn't want to eat, no one can force or prompt him to eat.

Tanishk's behaviors became more worse now. He had become stubborn. He didn't want to get out from the car or stroller. He didn't like to go anyone's house. We went for Ganesh Puja at my friend's place. Tanishk didn't enter the house and started to scream when we forced him. Tanay got scared and he also didn't get in. My husband had to stand outside with both kids for one hour. Then we decided to leave from there as it was no point to stay there if the kids are not getting in and attending puja.

We went to "Touch Me" museum and both kids were in the strollers. Tanishk didn't take any interest there and just wanted to keep sitting in the stroller & moving. Whenever we stop to see something, he started to scream and just said "I want drive". Tanay enjoyed a lot there.

3-4 months back there was a birthday party in our neighborhood. He started to scream and was uncontrollable. I had to come back with him leaving Tanay with his father. Tanay enjoyed there.

When his behaviors got so much worse and were uncontrollable by ABA therapy too, we thought to stop all his medications and bio-medical supplements. We stopped everything for one week. And then we start with only his thyroid medication and B12 shots. Behaviors were lessened. Yes, something was going wrong. Still there are behaviors but the frequency of those behaviors are lessened. And also became more focused and attentive.

Last week, there was one more birthday party of 2 year old boy. Tanishk went there. He was well behaved. He was sitting on the chair nicely. He also played with piano. So, we were happy that he didn't create any problem there. After coming from there, he said "I want to go to birthday party".

Accident

Tanishk daily goes to school by a school van with one driver and one attendant. And it takes him one hour to reach there to the school.

One morning, I sent him to the school. After half an hour, there was a call from the driver. There was an accident and police is there to investigate. I became very nervous. I asked him about Tanishk.

He said, the accident was between two other cars. But his car was also just hit by one of those cars. But no one was injured in his car. I thought that nothing to worry about and after investigation police will let them go. And then Tanishk will go to his school as routine.

But after 5 minutes, again he called me and told that police wants to ask few questions about Tanishk. I was again nervous. I was worried that something has happened and driver is not telling it to me. The police man asked me general questions - Tanishk's birth date and address etc. I asked him to let them go as Tanishk has to reach the school.

Again the driver called me and said that they were not letting them go for the school. They want everyone to go to the hospital for checkup. I was again upset. If nothing has happened, why they are sending him to the hospital. Driver told me that this is the routine checkup. It can take time.

I called my husband and also to my mother-in-law. My husband then called to the driver and talked to him. Then he called me. He told me that driver is coming to get me to the hospital. The hospital will not leave Tanishk without any responsible person. I got ready. We left Tanay to my mother-in-law's place and went to the hospital.

When I talked to the driver, I was assured that Tanishk is alright. But still, I was concerned that he is alone with his attendant. Will she be able to manage him? He can't sit or stop anywhere. If they will ask any question, how will he respond. He might be screaming when they are forcing him for the check up. 

My situation was like Rajesh Khanna's mother in movie "Aradhana". "Hai mere bete ko kyaa ho gaya, meraa betaa kaisa hogaa. Kuchch khaaya peeya ki nahin aur koi uske saath hogaa ki nahin." (Hey, what happened to my son? How is my son there? Had he eaten anything? And is there someone with him to take care of him?) I have seen that act in many movies, but at that point of time I just remembered this movie.

When I reached there, I was sent to the pediatrics ER department. What did I see there?? :) Tanishk was sitting very comfortably on the patient bed like a VIP person. Yes, his attendant was not there, she was admitted to adults ER department. Tanishk was playing with crayons and there were few books. I was happy to see him and hugged him. He was also happy to see me. I asked him whether he was hungry. He said "yes". Suddenly tears came from my eyes.

Nurses told me that he was very much well behaved and came there nicely. He didn't scream at all. He watched TV and played with crayons. Nurses were impressed by him. I was happy inside me. 

Doctor came for check up and nurse came to do the paper work. I asked her whether we have to pay co-pay, she said as this was through the accident, no co-pay will be charged. Doctor signed his discharge papers and I came back home with Tanishk.

After coming back from the hospital, Tanishk remembered the hospital for few days. He says - "I want to go to hospital and watch spongebob", "Hardy. let's go to hospital". Hardy is his driver's name. :)

Summer Vacations

I was worried that how will I manage two kids during Tanishk's vacations. Tanishk is not easy to handle. Both of the kids are now very active and they need something to do every time. Tanay can play appropriately with the toys and most of the time he keeps busy himself. But Tanishk doesn't play appropriately and he asks for the gadgets every time - TV, Video, Computer, ITouch, IPad, Phone and he is stuck to the screen. Else he will demand to go outside and I alone can't take two kids outside. Tanishk runs here & there and can go far away from me.

I am happy that I was able to manage with the help of activity schedule and reward system taught by PCDI. It was not so simple, but that helped me organizing the activities for Tanishk and Tanay. Whole day - keeping them busy, homework activities, creating new activities, correcting bad behaviors, giving rewards, minimizing their time with the screen for very limited time, teaching them play appropriately, data collection, changing choices everyday for variety, bathing and feeding them, cooking, cleaning, laundry and also avoid their conflict with each other. Oops - so much.

Everyday I made a schedule for Tanishk and told him to follow start from the morning. I wrote all the available rewards on the white board. I daily changed the rewards for variety and to avoid him stuck on one thing. I avoided computer totally as a reward as he stims most of the time. I noticed that he watches anything on TV, Video, Computer for only the patterns, color changes and also repeating their dialogues. He doesn't answer any questions related to the story shown in the video.

At school, he doesn't get any free time less structured. But, at home, he gets most of the time unstructured as he doesn't know what to do when I am busy with Tanay. He just climbs on the sofa, table, and also plays with the gadgets, buttons, plug-points. He doesn't comply easily as he is distracted by what Tanay is doing. Tanay also tries to come in between us when I am talking to Tanishk. So, I have to keep both of them busy at home.

Tanishk is intelligent, affectionate, easy learning boy. Main problem with him is his focus. He can't keep focus on the activity he is doing. And also he is not able to control his behaviors. He knows when he is doing wrong, he understands gestures and also face expressions. He looks at my face and understands that he has to sit quietly and nicely.

He is a good problem solver. He likes to do puzzles, coloring and also handwriting. He is also good in counting. Now he understands all the instructions. He is particular about what he wants.

But he can't wait for anything. He can't control his behaviors himself. He needs prompts to finish his activity. He is most of the time lost in verbal stimming, scripting, spinning, nail biting, touching his toes, closing his eyes, flapping his hands and moving around here & there. If he is forced to stop the behavior or to do something he really doesn't want to do, he resists, shouts and screams.

So, how did I manage that all? I made the schedule and made him to follow the schedule. I also gave Tanay to do something so Tanay won't disturb him. Everyday, we do homework activities (9-10 activities for the data collection), play activities (bowling game, blocks, jump on trampoline, find game etc.), fun activities (tickle, squeeze, piggy back, upside down, coloring, tracing, TV watching etc.) and also routine activities for the day.

I gave him lots of choices except the computer. TV programs (Dora, Diego, Yo gabba gabba or whatever videos were available with me - he can't watch the same program repeatedly), Snacks (popcorn, cookies, juice, soda, wafers etc.) and also other toys & activities in which he has interest. Everyday, I changed the choices. Every morning, he sees the board interestingly and checks what he can get during the day.

It was very tough task but it became very easy with the guidance given by his teachers at PCDI and also the book Activity Schedules for Children With Autism, Teaching Independent Behavior. This book is very good and helpful. How to deal with the children with behaviors and how to correct them, reward them and teach them, everything is explained in detail. The staff at PCDI is also very good, they are very helpful.

Yes, it all was not an easy task. It takes lots of time and effort to teach him new skills and correct behavior. And also, the most important thing, we should have - patience. It needs lots of patience. Still, I am not perfect and sometimes gets frustrated. But, I have to keep going and not giving up. :)

Now, I am looking forward to his next vacations - Aug 15 to Sept 7. Wish me best of luck.

Street Fair

On 5th june, weather was so good and my husband wanted to go somewhere with the kids. But I wasn't feeling well and I wanted to take rest at home. He was insisting to go to parks or zoo, but I wasn't ready to go anywhere far away from home. 

Then, we just remembered that there is a small street fair in downtown metuchen and there are few fun activities for the kids. So, we planned to go there as this was very near and we can come back so fast if needed. The kids were also happy that they were going for the outing.

We had to take both the strollers as sometimes Tanishk feels lost and just walks away from us. It was a very small street fair, where most of the stalls were for the promotions. And there were shops were for jewellery, clothes, accessories, beauty items, craft items, massage and also toys. And there were some food stalls too. There were few fun activities for the kids - pony riding, small petting zoo, sand activity, face painting, inflatable rides, balloons, hoop dance, etc.

Most of the things were very expensive. We didn't buy anything, we just walked and looked around. One lady gave kids a balloon. Tanishk was not ready to hold it and Tanay didn't know how to hold it. We tried to tie the balloon with the stroller. The balloon was loosened from our hands and went up in the sky.

We reached till the end of the fair. We had to turned back but Tanishk refused. He started to scream that he doesn't want to go back. I gave him some juice so that his screams stopped and we turned back. He was lost in his own world and was just flapping his hands. With prompts, he was answering the questions. He didn't show interests in anything or any activity.

Tanay was happy and enjoying the crowd. He was looking at every man, woman and kid who was passing in front of him and was also passing the smiles to them. Most of the kids were moving around with painted faces, Tanishk didn't notice them but Tanay was watching them continuously and was staring at them.

We went to the kids' section and go for pony ride & petting zoo. Here also, Tanishk didn't show any interest. We asked whether he wants to go for pony ride, he refused to go. When we reached there for the sand play activity, he was happy as he likes playing with sand. He had to fill the bottle with sand of 9-10 different colors and its cost was $5. We helped him to fill the bottle with all the colors available. The bottle was in the shape of monkey. Tanishk enjoyed it and Tanay was also looking at him very interestingly.

Then we went for the inflatable rides. There were 3-4 inflatable rides of little difference. There was one inflatable ride with 3 slides. Tanishk went in the bouncer inflatable ride. Initially he was not going in. When he went inside, we were just wondering, how will we call him back if he is lost there. Started with, he wasn't able to hold himself as other kids were jumping and he was falling down again & again. After few seconds, he got hold of himself and started to jump. He was enjoying the ride. When time was over and we called him, he came immediately and that was good for us.

Tanishk is in orange shirt - jumping in the inflatable bouncer ride

After walking through the street fair, we got tired and then went to a restaurant. I gave kids dosa to eat and juice to drink. Tanishk was so tired that suddenly he slept in the stroller. We ate our food and then started to walk again to see rest of street fair. Tanishk was still sleeping.

There was a hoop dance. Music was on and the little kids were dancing in the hoop. Tanishk was still sleeping. Tanay was interested and he picked up one hoop. He tried to dance holding the hoop, but he did not go in the hoop. We tried to help him, but he refused for the help.

Tanay is holding the hoop and trying to understand how to dance with hoop

When we left from street fair, Tanishk was awakened and started to scream again as he didn't want to sit in the car and wanted to go back to street fair. It was strange for me as I thought that he didn't like the street fair. I think it was not about the street fair, he liked moving when sitting in the stroller. That's my thinking.

We enjoyed the street fair a lot. It doesn't matter for me that there was nothing to buy for me or it was expensive. We were there only for the kids and if kids are happy we are happy. We wanted also Tanishk to enjoy and explore new things. But he is always like that. In the crowd, he is always lost and doesn't show any interest even in the kids' activities. He is never curious about his surroundings and happenings. He doesn't try to take part in any activity.

When he enjoyed the bouncing inflatable ride and sand play, I was happy that at least Tanishk did something and enjoyed. There he screamed very less - only once or twice, when he wanted to move in the particular direction. :)

Maakhan Chor

What is Maakhan Chor? Maakhan is hindi word and Maakhan is called as Butter. Chor is thief who steals the things. Lord Krishna was being called as Maakhan Chor (Butter Thief) in his childhood, as shown in the following video. Maakhan Chor Krishna Kanhaiya

But that butter was made from cow's milk and it was not GFCF. Our kids are on the special diet - GFCF diet. We don't give any dairy products to them. Our elders haven't seen this kind of diet. 

They say, how will he grow without milk? How will he get strength without butter and cheese? He has become so weak. Give him milk and he will be OK. When all others are eating ice-cream, chocolate, cakes, cookies - give him a little bit, it won't harm him.

Anyways, I was talking about butter thief (maakhan chor). Our kids also drink milk and eat butter, cheese, yoghurt but all GFCF. I use Smart Balance butter for Toast. Tanishk likes the butter very much. That's why I call him as maakhan chor. I can explain it in the detail.

If there is butter in food, he will eat it definitely. He eats toast with butter, roti with butter, dosa with butter, waffles with butter etc. and he eats only butter too. He eats jam, jelly, peanut butter too but not so much. He can refuse these things, but butter - no way. He asks for more butter when it's finished in his plate. He says - "I want more butter" and gives stress on "more".

Dosa is only the thing he can eat without any thing. When I give him roti with vegetables, he refuses because of the texture. But I put butter with vegetables, he eats it with easily. When he eats himself, he doesn't eat roti with butter, he eats butter with roti. He uses roti as a spoon and takes a big slab of butter and puts in the mouth. :) If I put the box of butter in front of him, he dips his roti or toast like a spoon and takes out butter himself. He will keep eating if I don't remove the box.

That's why, I call him maakhan chor. He is my GFCF Maakhan Chor. :)

BowCraft Amusement Park

On 22 May, Sunday, we went to BowCraft Amusement Park. It is located on US22 in Scotch Plains, New Jersey. It's official site is www.bowcraft.com. It's a very nice place for family outing. There are several rides for kids of every age and also for adults. There is also a party place where one can organize birthday parties or any type of events. And weather was good but a little bit cold.

My husband was excited about the place as we went there last year too and Tanishk had enjoyed a lot at that time. So, we were very hopeful that this will be a great outing for him and Tanay. When we entered to the park, Tanishk was excited to see the rides. It was first time for Tanay, but he was also excited to see the people and especially the kids.

We went first for Super Truck. It was a simple ride with small trucks linked like a train and every truck had two steerings for the kids to pretend that they are driving the truck. Tanishk & Tanay sat together and they were very happy. Both brothers enjoyed the ride. This was Tanishk's favorite ride. He still says that he wants to go to Super Truck.

Tanishk sitting in the Super Truck with his brother Tanay

After super truck, we went to drop zone, it's like frog hopper, but bigger size. The 5-6 kids sit in one row and they move vertically up and down. Tanay was not allowed to go on this ride. Tanishk sat there alone as there was no other kid at that time. As a surprise, he was scared and was closing his ears. He bent down as he was afraid. We had to tell the attendant to stop the ride and get him down.

Last year, Tanishk enjoyed the frog hopper ride, which is small but same kind of ride. We were very much surprised that he was scared this time. But his teacher explained us that maybe he is afraid as there is a big gap of one year and he didn't remember that ride.

Then, we went for balloon ride. We three - Tanishk, Tanay & I sat in the balloon. I accept that I am afraid of heights. Here, Tanishk was also closing his ears, but he was happy and enjoying. And Tanay was so small that he can't hold himself. The balloon was moving in every direction and was turning here & there. Tanay was sitting with me, I was holding his hand, he wasn't able to hold himself and he was slipping down. When I saw his face, his expression was like "Mumma, save me!! I am going to fall down!!" I shouted "Stop! Stop! Stop the ride! Tanay is slipping down!!" 

Tanishk with his father sitting in front seat of the car

Then, Tanishk went for car driving with his father. This he enjoyed very much as he was sitting in the front seat of the car and next to his father, who was driving the car. The car goes on one circular trail and stops on the same point from where it started.

Then, we went for boat ride and motorcycle ride. Boat ride was very simple and both brothers enjoyed it. And they also enjoyed the motorcycle ride. Tanay was feeling happy as he was moving. Tanishk was feeling that he is driving the motorcycle and was very happy at that moment.

Tanishk & Tanay riding the boat

Tanishk & Tanay riding the motorcycle
 

After that Tanishk tried Dragon roller-coaster and Frog Hopper, but in both of them he showed the same expression. Closed his ears, bend himself down and but wasn't resisting to ride. The frog hopper was the ride last year he enjoyed most, but this time it seems he wasn't comfortable in rides and we had to ask attendant to stop it.

Both brothers also had a lot of fun in helicopter, train and carousal rides. Although it was first time for Tanay, he was very much comfortable for the small rides and have fun time.

Overall, we had a very good time. Tanishk's behavior was good. He didn't shout, scream or cry. He was little bit scared on the rides, but he didn't resist on any ride. And also when we were calling him, he was responding to us and was not going too far from us. Tanay had all the rides first time but he also had a wonderful time. He was busy in looking at other people, kids and making new friends.:)

Perfect Day

On May 31, Tanishk's behavior was very nice. He was showing such a normal behavior like a typical child. When he came from the school, he asked me for the computer very nicely - "Mumma, I want to get the computer." I asked him to take off his shoes and change his clothes. He followed my instructions very nicely. He got the computer for 10 minutes.

When I said, "computer is all done!", he himself put it off and gave it to me. He didn't scream or shout at all. When I told him to go to take bath, he went to the bathroom. He enjoys playing with water. He doesn't take bath himself. I gave him 10 minutes to play as this was very hot day.

I feel very much happy and relaxed when Tanishk is in good mood and behavior. It was that day. I was so cool and was able to do other household work also. When he is in bad mood, the time just goes in prompting him, keeping him quiet and redirecting him to the good behavior.

After bath, I asked him - "What do you want to eat? Chhole Chawal (Rice and Chickpeas Curry) or Dosa?" He replied - "I want to eat Pasta." I was shocked to hear it as two days before he refused to eat pasta and now he is asking for. I gave him pasta to eat and surprisingly, he ate pasta himself still sitting on the seat and he didn't get up from the seat once.

It was really a great surprise for me as he has habit of moving around here and there when he is eating. He doesn't sit still and also he doesn't want to eat himself. I have to feed him and prompt him to eat on every bite. I gave him computer immediately after finishing his eating, as he was in very good behavior and that was the rare thing.

I gave him several minutes as I was busy in Tanay, his little brother. After done with Tanay, I asked him to shut down the computer and asked him to do his homework. He was so cool and worked on his homework nicely. It was awesome and I felt very great. It was the first time, when I didn't have to do any prompting and thought that he is only a typical child.

It may be a very small thing for others, but for me this was the celebration day. That encouraged me to keep working with Tanishk and not to give up any time at any cost. Thank God for his all the blessings. Thanks everyone who have worked & are working with him and also thanks to them who are his well-wishers. God bless all of them. :)

Tanishk's Birthday 2011

13 May 2011. Now Tanishk is 5 years old. The time passes so fast. But still Tanishk doesn't understand the concept of birthday. He wasn't excited at all. He is lost in his own world so much that he just pays attention those things which interests him. He has learned so many skills but there is no excitement and no curiosity.

On his birthday, we had his school visit day and he went to his school with us. My husband taught him to say "Thank You" when someone greets him saying "Happy Birthday". And he did well. He was nervous when we reached there. I think he was bit upset because of our presence there. But when his teachers wish him, he responded by saying "Thank You". That was great.

I baked a GFCF chocolate cake with chocolate frosting for his birthday and gave it to his teacher. After school visit, we left him there. He was upset when saying bye to us. I think that is good. Now he feels connected with us and he is behaving like a normal kid. Who wants to go to school?

GFCF chocolate cake with chocolate frosting

He came back from the school with his gifts. But he was not curious about the gifts and even he is not able to tell the things happened at his school. I asked "Did you eat the chocolate cake?" He said "yes".

15 May 2011, my husband has arranged party at his sister's house for Tanishk's birthday. He put some tent on the deck area and also decorated the hall for party. He got few games - shooting, balls, bubbles, whistles, yellow car. He had planned more games but because of rain we couldn't do that. We got pizza, salad, rice, chhole and aloo ka raita in menu. I bake the GFCF cake (Vanilla Cake with butter cream frosting and decorated by sprinkles) and we had ordered a regular cake. On the regular cake, there was Tanishk's picture.

GFCF cake (Vanilla Cake with butter cream frosting and decorated by sprinkles)

We invited 6 families and 4 families came. There were total 9 kids (5 boys and 4 girls). Everyone enjoyed the party and were happy. My little one also enjoyed the presence of other kids. All liked both of the cakes and food. Kids really enjoyed the bubbles and tent game. My husband was involved playing with the kids.

But where was Tanishk? Again he was lost and didn't want to go with the crowd. He did everything for what he was prompted to do. But he wasn't interested in any of the activities except bubbles. Was he aware that all these people gathered only for him? No. He didn't show any awareness, curiosity and happiness. That's the autism which we experience daily. :)

Tanishk with his little brother

When Tanay was born and came home from the hospital, Tanishk was neutral. He totally ignored Tanay. But sooner he realized that something is changed. We had to protect Tanay as Tanishk was not aware that he can hurt Tanay and he was used to jump anywhere. For Tanishk, Tanay was not a living being. He thought that it's a matter of few days and things will be same like before.

Tanay's sleep was very light. He was used to wake up on every little noise, and Tanishk was used to scream and shout loudly. Still this problem is there. We aren't able to tell Tanishk that his little brother is sleeping and he should not disturb him.

Tanay started to make noises, moving and became active. Tanishk started to realize Tanay's presence. When Tanay cried, Tanishk noticed and he tried to imitate his little brother's crying. As a surprise, he liked Tanay's crying. He also noticed that when Tanay falls down he cries a lot. He started to push him and make him fall down on the floor. He also tried to pull him by hand on the bed's edge and make him fall down.

It was very difficult to tell him that he should not do this. He didn't understand any reasoning. He just knew that if I like something, I should do that. His teacher told us that "Don't make a big deal of it. Just encourage the good behavior. Reinforce every time he shows good behavior."

My husband started to tell him to give kisses to Tanay or give any toy or feed him or play with him. Tanishk showed some resistance but he did for his strong reinforcers. After few time, his pushing behaviors diminished.

Tanay became more active, started to follow Tanishk and trying to touch everything Tanishk is playing with. He wants to do everything what Tanishk is doing. Wherever Tanishk goes, Tanay follows. Tanishk tries to run away from him, but Tanay doesn't give up. Tanishk doesn't want to share anything. That feeling led to another behavior.

Tanishk tries to move Tanay's hands from the things what he doesn't want him to touch. He doesn't want Tanay to share me too. He doesn't let him to play with toys and to jump on the trampoline.

As Tanishk is growing, he has started to understand many things. He knows that few things he does, he shouldn't do. But he can't help it. He tries very hard, but still he is not able to control himself fully. Tanay is also growing up and he loves his brother very much. I hope they will be friends when grown up and will take care of each other.

Mother's Day 2011

8 May is mother's day. I love my mother very much and I appreciate her what she did for her five children. I respect her not because she is my mother, she is very kind and humble lady. She stayed very strong in tough times too. She did not leave her own values and didn't make difference between her five children. I feel very happy when my mother confides in me and tells her true feelings. My mother is my best friend.

My mother

Today, I am also mother of two sons. Tanishk & Tanay. Regardless of any differences in them, I love both equally. Tanishk is ASD kid and 5 years old. He is different, but still he is cute, lovable, affectionate kid in his own way. Tanay is a typical kid and 17 months old. He is also a very cute and affectionate boy.

Before having kids I used to think that how will I manage and look after my kids. I didn't have any knowledge. But with a great support of my Mother-in-law and my husband it became possible. When Tanishk was diagnosed as autistic, everyone in the family was there to support me.

When my both kids come to me and hug me, kiss me, play with me, look for me, want something from me and give a lovely smile, I feel satisfied and happy somewhere in me. Sometimes I feel very much frustrated, stressed, angry when they do something wrong, showing behaviors, shouting, screaming and crying. But in that all, they have taught me patience too. After few minutes when I see a smile there on their faces, I feel relief from frustration and stress.

I thank God blessing me with two nice and lovely sons. I pray God to bless them happiness, lots of love, intelligence, good nature and healthy life. I feel a completeness when they are standing with me and showering their love on me.

Tanishk

My 5 year old son, Tanishk was diagnosed on ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) when he was 2 years old. We came to US and he got early intervention till he is 3 years old. After that he started his school. Today, when I see back, I always think about how long we have come and how long we have to go. Is there any end to this road or is there any destination to reach?

When he was 2, he was non-verbal. He was used to listen music on reliance mobile phone and also on TV. Whenever the commercials started on TV, he used to come in front of TV to watch them from wherever he was. He had sense when the commercials are started and when the commercials end. But strangely he didn't respond to his name or anything we say. But phone, TV or computer he responded very well.

He didn't play appropriately with toys. He used to ignore everything else in which he was not interested and he had very less interests. He was used to play with wheels of the car instead of playing with the car. He liked to fill and empty any type of container - box, glass etc. He collected all the books, papers or things at one place and hold them. He flipped the books instead of trying to read. He wasn't interested in playing with balls as all boys do.

His stimming behaviors like flapping his hands, flipping the books, spinning the things, pressing the buttons, spinning himself, to see the things from corner of his eyes, runs here and there, not holding hands when he is walking outside - everything was there. He used to watch same videos and listen same music repeatedly. He wasn't attentive.

Till then I didn't hear word autism and I used to think that do all the kids behave like he does. My husband did research on this and he came out of this decision that Tanishk is not a normal kid and we have to get him evaluated. We came to US then he got evaluated. He got his diagnosis and then early intervention.

Till now he has got early intervention, and then school with class of special students and then private special school PCDI. Yes, there are improvements. He can speak and can also read the words & sentences. He can follow most of the instructions and has become more attentive. He is a great problem solver and solves puzzles. He knows how to start the gadgets - computer, DVD player, phone, ITouch, IPad etc. He knows coloring and is also learning to write. He is fond of crayons and markers. He knows counting till 20 and also recognizes the numbers written. He knows how to communicate his needs. He is toilet trained. He jumps on trampoline and loves slides & swings in the park. He has started to imitate the actions.

But still there are behaviors. Just the style of behaviors is changed. He doesn't want to comply. He runs here and there & he is so active that he can't sit still. He jumps every where - on the mattress too. He wants to watch same videos, listen same music, computer on & off, goes into the settings of any gadget and just selecting anything. Flapping his hands and holding things in one hand are still there. If he is given a pencil or pen and left unattended, he will scribble everywhere even on the table or floor too. He has got verbal stimming, he just keeps saying the things he had heard through various sources - TV, Computer, videos, therapists, teachers, parents etc.

My all the time goes in prompting and redirecting him. Sometimes I feel very much tired & frustrated and think where is the end??