Neurotypicals

Yesterday, I watched a TV show on PBS - Neurotypicals. It's about the people on the autism who shared their experiences being different. How beautifully they tell us how they think differently and behave differently. I had a big thought when they say - Why we can't be different? Why do you want me to cure? Why can't we live in our own ways? Why do you want to fix us? Why can't you accept us as we are?

Yes, I also agree in some ways. Every person is different. Even two persons living together think and behave differently. They have their own views, own thoughts, own interests, likes and dislikes etc. Sometimes, they are also not able to understand other's point of view and they have conflict between them. So, why do we want to control them and fix them?

Every person is very much different. What is natural to you, doesn't mean that it's natural to others too. One is good in maths, but others may have difficult time to solve simple math problem. One is very good in sports, but other can be good in computers. One can be talkative and think loudly, other can be less talkative and think quietly. One likes to be with people and being social, but others can like to be alone and stay away from the crowd. That's OK being different.

Everyone knows that I am an introverted person. I was very reserved when I was a kid. I didn't have much friends - only one or two. I wasn't much talkative, still not. Few things didn't come natural to me. I was good in studies and always got good grades. But I was never social kid. I worked for 7-8 years in software industry, but it was very hard for me to take initiatives. I had to learn things hard way, when they were not natural to me. Still it takes time for me to learn anything new. Sometimes I suffer with information overload and feel frustration & irritated. I am also different.

Yes, my son is different and I have no issues about his difference. It doesn't mean I won't teach him anything. I want to teach him basic life skills. I want to teach him to communicate his feelings, his thoughts and his experiences about his inner world. I want to understand him and his sensory world. I want to help him and give him comfort. I want him to get exposure to various things, explore this world and give various options. Then I want him to decide what he wants to choose in his life. I don't want to control his life.

These are my thoughts. If you think different from me, you are welcome to share your thoughts. :)

Two Extremes

As you can see that I had a big break after my last post, several things were going on in my life. Most important thing was that my kids are growing up and they want more time, attention and effort to deal with them. My both sons are two extremes.

As I have written in my Computer Stimming Series posts, it was very difficult to deal with both the kids altogether. Still Tanishk likes all the electronic gadgets and can keep himself busy in stimming.  Still, it is very difficult to motivate him to do something else as he has not much interests. He doesn't want to learn anything, just wants to pressing something - buttons on TV, Computer, Fan, Microwave, Gadgets, anything. He is verbal. He is smart. To get these things, he can manipulate us. He comes to us only to get whatever he wants. He is not withdrawn kind of kid, but he is not interested in anything until unless he can get gadget in return. He is not curious at all.

My other son Tanay is extreme case of his brother. Tanishk doesn't want to do anything. Tanay wants to learn everything. Tanishk runs away from the puzzles, books, activities. Tanay wants to do more & more. Tanishk has no imagination, he repeats only whatever he has learnt from videos, TV, teachers and parents. Tanay has got a great imagination, he can make his own stories. Tanishk doesn't take interest in anything and doesn't want to know about anything. He doesn't have any curiosity. Tanay is a curious kid. I have named him as "Curious George". Tanay wants to play with his brother, and Tanishk pushes him back as he doesn't want him to come in his way.