Tanishk's Birthday 2012

13 May. That was the day when Tanishk was born 6 years before. That was also the day when my mother was born. And this day was very special this year, because this day was also mother's day for 2012. 

Tanishk is now 6 years old. When his birthday was near we were wondering that how should we celebrate it this year, I went through last year's experience. I tried to analyze differences between him as of today and one year before. I was surprised to see that there was no major change. 

Tanishk still doesn't understand the concept of birthday. He wasn't excited much. But he has attended more birthdays at school and at other places. So, he knows only birthday means - cake, candle blowing, cutting the cake and eating the cake. He wasn't excited much about his birthday & celebrations.

Definitely, he has improved academically. He has skills of reading, writing, math, story comprehension, coloring, cutting and pasting, etc. And he is now more understanding and more aware of the environment. He has become more manipulative too. But his vocal stimming (scripting) and sensory issues are same. His social aspect is same. He is not interested in others until unless he is going to get any favorite reward. He has not any concept of getting and giving gifts. He is also not comfortable in crowds.

So, I thought we should celebrate his birthday in such a way that he is comfortable and more aware of the events. This time, I made this as a family event. I just called his grandparents and aunt for his birthday. I showed him excitement about his birthday. I kept telling him that we will celebrate his birthday and I will bake a special cake for him. I also told him that his grandparents and aunt will come. He is comfortable with them.

We decorated our living room a little bit to feel there is a special day. We let him to enjoy in bath tub. He wore new clothes. We arranged our dining table for food. He was aware that something special is there. He was not demanding any gadgets. But still, he wasn't talking much.

When his grandparents and aunt came, he was happy. His grandmother gave him a gift, but he was not behaving properly. I prompted him to take the gift and say "Thank you". I prompted him to open the gift and see what was there. I showed him excitement to encourage him. It was shirt and pant. I told him to say "Thank you dadi (grandmother), it's a nice shirt." He wore it when I prompted him. The best part of all that was, he wasn't resisting at all.

I had baked the GFCF nut vanilla cake and decorated it like an angry bird face. I bake two cakes - yellow and white. I layered the cakes with some pink buttercream frosting in between. I cut the cakes in shape of angry bird. I spread pink & yellow buttercream frosting on the top and sides of the cake. Then I used green sprinklez for eyebrows, apple and walnuts for eyes, gfcf wafer for nose.

GFCF Angry Bird Cake

We lit the candles on the cake and told him to blow the candles. He was nervous and upset while blowing the candles. His little brother Tanay was also trying to low the candles. But none was able to do that. At last, I blew the candles. Tanishk cut the cake and ate the cake. He liked it very much and asked for more cake.

I told Tanay to give gift to Tanishk and say "Happy Birthday". He was more excited than Tanishk. He gave it to Tanishk. Then we prompted Tanishk to say thanks and open the gift. It was his favorite cookies.

I was happy that I didn't let him get lost on his birthday like last year and I am hoping to do same to keep him connected with every one of us. :)

Mother's Day 2012

13 May 2012, Mother's Day. Whole world was celebrating mother's day. But for me, this mother's day was very very special. This was the day, when my mother was born. And also this was the day, when I became mother first time. I had to celebrate this day.

My mother has three sons & two daughters, and I am 4th one. But I am very far away from her. I am in US and she is in India. I haven't met her since 4 years. I hope I will go to meet her sooner. I miss her very much. She is a very nice lady and I am happy that she has got nice daughters-in-law too. They all respect her very much and she also considers them as her daughters. She is an introvert person and talks very less, but she and I share a lot of talks on phone. 13 May is her birthday too. So, I wish my mother Happy Mother's Day and Happy Birthday.

I also wish my mother-in-law Happy Mother's Day. She is opposite to my mother. She is an extrovert person and also enjoys talking on different things. She is very knowledgeable person and she is there to help every person any time. I respect her very much and she is also nice to me. She loves her grandsons very much and always ready to take care of them.

13 May 2006 was the day when I gave birth to my first son and became a mother. Now, I have two sons and I feel very proud of them. I also celebrated my son's birthday. I wish my son Happy Birthday and myself Happy Mother's Day too. I am very proud and thank God for blessing me with two great mothers and two lovely & affectionate sons.

Me with my sons - Tanishk & Tanay

I wish all the mothers in this world a very Happy Mother's Day. :)

Light It Up Blue

When Tanishk joined his current school placement in Sept of 2010, it was the biggest moment for us. It looked and felt like the end to struggles, a great achievement. We felt we won't have to think much after that..umm - worry ourselves to death - the thinking continued. We follow the school's instructions and methods. And I must admit that it helped us a lot. We took our time to learn, but we are getting there. We have a long way to go, like in any learning..

We knew that Tanishk has a photogenic face - he would add he is a good looker. His childhood photos were very good. But when he grew up, he started to make faces and kept showing behaviors. He doesn't stand still in front of the camera. Whenever, we take his pictures, they were on average. There were some good pictures too, in case we got him unaware.

Tanishk on the bean bag - 2006

Tanishk like a sports man - 2007

Tanishk in traditional dress on Diwali - 2007

Tanishk when he came to US - 2008

Tanishk at Rainforest Cafe - 2009

Tanishk sitting in the school van, first day to PCDI - 2010

When Tanishk came to US, he was non-verbal and non-responsive. When he was 18 months old, every one noticed that he is not responding to his name and doesn't listen. But, he used to respond on Hindi advertisements shown on the TV and to the phone ring. Whenever ads started, he ran to the TV from wherever he was. And the moment ads end, he was lost.

Whenever I called his name, he never responded. But whenever I uttered Orange, he came, even from another room. So, what was that? What would you say?

Thanks to all his therapists - Early Intervention or Private, who taught him talk. Thanks to early intervention, he verbalizes his needs. Thanks to his teachers at school and after school therapists, who worked with him. In that period, he was toilet trained. (Accidents happen, but not so often)

In the meantime, my husband was busy in trying to get Out of district placement for Tanishk as we wanted one on one therapy for him.We got a call from PCDI for his interview. There was one place vacant for next year. The staff people at PCDI worked with him for one hour. We were in the office. Special thanks to Laurie Paul Duddy, who made him familiar with the things which helped him in his personal interview. My husband recalls when the director stood up and grandly announced that the school was ready to induct Tanishk. I & my husband looked at each other silently for a few seconds.

Tanishk started at PCDI in Sept of 2010. He has completed 30 months in PCDI and he has learnt a lot there. He is more connected, attentive and focussed. He attends all the activities - reading, writing,   coloring, math, playing appropriately, comprehension skills, gym, yoga, group activities, social behavior, conversational skills, self-help activities (brushing teeth, dressing himself, eating food etc.)

Whenever PCDI asked for permission to take his pictures for any campaign or their newsletter, we acquiesced. We have everything to thank PCDI for.

Tanishk at PCDI - Halloween 2010

Tanishk celebrating his 5th birthday with his teacher Jamie at PCDI

Tanishk at Toys R Us Photo Shoot at PCDI (I got this from video on Toys R Us website one year before)

Tanishk at PCDI, watching TV - 2012

Tanishk at PCDI, watching TV - 2012

We totally forgot about that "Toys R Us" photo shoot. After one year of the event, we got a message that Tanishk is up on "Toys R Us" stores. We thought that he must be there in the store in a specific section. We reached the store and we were surprised. On the front door, there was a big poster with his picture and message for autism awareness.

Poster at Toys R Us Store

Toys R Us have also chosen his photo as cover photo on facebook - "Toys R Us" on Facebook

We are very proud of him. Thanks to the people who worked with him, who have taken his photo and who have chosen him for this campaign - "Light It Up Blue". I wish he spreads his light everywhere in this world and which helps increase awareness for autism.

No More Melatonin

Still, I feel that I am dreaming. Yes, it's definitely like a dream. Every night, Tanishk sleeps very easily without Melatonin. No screams, no shouting, no crying, and no fight. When Tanishk was younger, all nights were nightmares. We used to spend hours to get him to sleep and there no night when he slept without screams and shouting.

I remember when Tanishk was an infant he had a colic problem and every night he used to cry. I used to sit with him in my lap almost every night. When he became a toddler, he was constipated. It was very difficult to get him to sleep day or night. Every time it was a one hour job.

He became so active that he started to avoid sleeping. Every time he wanted to either watch TV or videos, listen to music etc. Even we switched off the lights, he didn't want to lie down on the bed. It was very difficult for us to get him to sleep. He slept little and we were worried about his health as he was active all the time.

We talked to other parents and the doctors. Everyone suggested that we should give him Melatonin so that he can sleep easily. We started to give him Melatonin and it was very effective. He used to sleep within few minutes after taking Melatonin. It was so much effective that a very little piece of tablet also worked. I used to give him very little. We were happy that he was sleeping nicely. But still we were not happy that he needs medicine for sleeping, he should take his sleep natural way.

I tried to get him to sleep without Melatonin several times. He used to lie down, but continuously he was restless. And his behaviors (continuously touching his nose, toes, lip picking, scratch over the body, grinding his teeth, changing his sides, asking for water) & vocal stimming was not letting him sleep. Every time I was exhausted & frustrated after his sleep. So we kept giving him Melatonin.

I researched about Melatonin and it's effects - I got few articles. Melatonin Side Effects and Melatonin Side Effects on Autistic kid. After that I wanted to stop giving Melatonin totally.

One month back our friend Neena came to our house and we discussed a lot of things with her. We discussed Tanishk's behaviors and she told us about how to deal with sensory issues. She suggested us OT for him and also suggested few tips at home. We told her that Tanishk doesn't sleep without Melatonin. She was shocked to hear that and said "Are you serious? He has definitely sensory issues." She suggested that we should let him carry some weighty things so that he gets tired and feels sleepy. She also suggested that we should massage his head, hands & feet with almond oil while he is trying to sleep. This will help him sleep easily.

Surprisingly, it helped a lot. Really, it was amazing. Now Tanishk sleeps with in half an hour. He still resists, still restless, still vocal stimming. But he calms down after massage and gets to sleep. No shouting, no screaming, no tantrums. I am so much relieved now. No more Melatonin. Thanks Neena!!