What is changed?

On 13th May 2014, my son has completed his 8 years of his life. I started this blog in 2011, when he was 5 years old. I was just reading my first post in this blog post Tanishk and was trying to find out what has changed in these 3 years. My son is now 8 but still he does a lot of things same as I mentioned in my first blog.

After my first blog, I have written several posts about his developments and behaviors. I had experienced both - good and bad moments. But when I try to analyze that how far I have come and what did I achieve in these 3 years, I have mixed thoughts in my mind.

When I see my son behaviorally, he is the same boy as he was 3 years ago. He still doesn't want to comply. He runs here and there, he is so hyperactive, doesn't sit still, jumps on trampoline and mattress (now he has company, his brother also jumps with him). He is still gadget freak. I have written series posts about this - Computer Stimming. The difference is that now it has converted into IPad Stimming. (I will write more about IPad stimming in my next posts.) Still he has verbal stimming - keeps saying things he had heard through various sources - TV, Computer, Videos, Therapists, Teachers, Parents, Grandparents etc. Still my most of the time goes in prompting and redirecting him.

First blog post - (He doesn't want to comply. He runs here and there & he is so active that he can't sit still. He jumps every where - on the mattress too. He wants to watch same videos, listen same music, computer on & off, goes into the settings of any gadget and just selecting anything. Flapping his hands and holding things in one hand are still there. If he is given a pencil or pen and left unattended, he will scribble everywhere even on the table or floor too. He has got verbal stimming, he just keeps saying the things he had heard through various sources - TV, Computer, videos, therapists, teachers, parents etc. My all the time goes in prompting and redirecting him.)

When I analyze my son's skills he has learnt in these 3 years -

He has learnt basic skills (brushing teeth, washing hands & face, buttoning his shirt, using microwave and toaster, etc.), reading the books, spelling, writing sentences. math (simple addition), catching the ball, throwing the basketball into the basket, playing wii games, etc. Few skills he is still learning - reading comprehension, tying the shoe laces, skating, riding the bike, scooter, board games etc.

But the thing is that he is not interested in anything and he is not curious about anything. He has learnt everything but does only when told to do so. He himself just wants gadgets (iPad, computer, etc.) and he can sit with them hours. He will just forward videos and continue clicking the buttons to repeat the same dialogue / music / noise / tune. Yes, in between he plays games too - Angry Birds, Cut the rope, Appmates etc., but most of the time he just stims with videos and audio.

He has learnt new behaviors too - He knows that he is doing something wrong. When he starts to stim, he gives us a look like he is telling us that  I am going to do what I want. When we stop him doing anything or restrict the access to something, he starts to shout, scream, bang and hit his younger brother. He has become little bit manipulative too. He knows where the things are kept and starts to search for. He knows what upsets us and he does that knowingly.

I have heard and saw that electronic gadgets are good for these kids. They help them to communicate and learn new skills. But I don't think they are helping him. I tried a lot of apps for him, but no success. He learnt but memorized everything. His mind is full of videos, music, different kinds of noises, dialogues, teachers and parents' words etc. and keeps repeating those things again. Like he is playing video in his mind again & again. In this situation, he is not able to learn anything new. If he learns, it is mechanical or memorized. So, I don't know how far we have to go.

Computer Stimming - Part 3

Continuing from the stories Computer Stimming Part 1 and Computer Stimming Part 2, this is the final part of the story. I don't want to get anyone bored, but without mentioning all these incidents, I won't be able to explain about computer stimming which is a big part of my life. How this affected me and my son's life, his learning, his thinking, his attitude and his behaviors. Computer and other electronic gadgets were feeding him continuously and became hindrance to his learning. He kept talking repetitively what he heard as I mentioned in part 2. 

Till June, 2012, I was very much frustrated and upset about his computer stimming. But, I was not able to control this situation fully as I was not there always to control his access to electronic gadgets. My younger son was born in 2009 and he also needed my attention most of the time. So, I had to switch myself between these two kids. 

Without explaining my situation, this post won't get finished. I was alone with these two kids. My husband used to come late after 7:30 PM. Tanay, my younger son was too sensitive to the noise and Tanishk was very loud when he used to make tantrums. (Still, he is very loud. I can not stand with him, when he shouts and screams.) When I try to take away computer from him, he used to make tantrums and very loud noises. So, when Tanay was sleeping, I did let him do whatever he is doing.

In June 2012, when it became a little easy to make Tanay busy in something else when I was working with Tanishk, I decided to not to give computer to him. How can I forget that day? He came from the school and he asked for computer. He kept asking, crying, screaming, banging, stomping, hitting for 1 hour. Next day, same thing happened, but only for 10 minutes. After that day, his attention and focus were increased a lot. He doesn't touch the computer, and if he gets he gives it back in time. I don't let him stim on any gadget. That was the major achievement for me.

Still, he gets electronic gadgets but for the limited time and as a reward. He loves music. But now, he plays music appropriately and also play games appropriately. He reads stories. His focus is improved a lot. Still, sometimes he is tempted to do wrong things. Still, he repeats the talks from videos and audios. He sings songs and also tells stories.

Now, I can say that I have taken right decision. I told my readers this story for telling them - "Please don't let your child get lost into these electronic gadgets, he / she can learn them later. Engage them in other useful activities instead of TV and Computer. Use them for short time."

Computer Stimming - Part 2

As I have written in my earlier post Computer Stimming - Part 1, Tanishk learnt to use all the electronic gadgets. He knows what does he want. He learnt typing himself. He was always good in reading. He started reading in 2.5 years after he started speaking. His therapists used flash cards to teach to label things and then he learnt reading through flash cards and bumble bee videos. We never had to teach him reading.

Tanishk used to watch his favorite videos on YouTube - TOONBO "ABCD", TOONBO "Alphabet Song" and Dancing babies with diapers (indian version video). He also got interested in Hindi songs and he used to ask us his favorite songs on YouTube - Pocket Mein Rocket Hai, Yeh ishq hai, Nagada Nagada and Suraj Hua Maddham. He learnt to start these songs himself.

When he became an expert in YouTube, he started to explore more videos. He started to watch any video (Not meant for his age). He also explored more things on the computer. His favorite program on the computer is Windows Media Player. He used to listen to the songs on the windows media player and liked to see the patterns on the screen. He gets excited by looking at patterns and starts to jump, laugh, run here & there. I became a little bit scared when I saw him showing odd behaviors.

He had learnt to use every electronic gadget - iTouch, iPad, iPhone, Computer, DVD Player, TV and Wii. He was an expert using all the gadgets appropriately, but he was only interested to use them inappropriately. He started to go into the settings and do the changes. He used to shut down the system and restart again. He plays the games in the wrong way. He plays the same videos again & again. We tried to limit his access and only give him the electronic gadgets as the re-inforcer. But whenever the gadget was taken away, there were lot of tantrums (jumping, banging, shouting, screaming etc.).

Here, I want to mention that he is verbal and is also an expert in copying all the verbal tones (he says or sings the same way it was said or sung). His articulation is very good and copy all the talks he have heard. He also sings the music in same way, but all words are not clear. Later, he started to sing inappropriately knowingly. He is habitual of doing things inappropriately, even he knows what is appropriate.

Then he went one step ahead and started to forward all the videos and songs. He liked that forwarded noise and became habitual of it. And he started to repeat the same forwarded noise verbally. That made me feel very upset.

So, electronic gadgets are his obsession. In the morning, he wants them. Whole day, he wants them, In the night before sleep, he wants them on the bed. He lost interest in other things totally. He does other tasks only to get his favorite gadgets and to use them inappropriately.

Computer Stimming - Part 1

This is era of technology. World is changed into the electronic world. Today, you will find electronic gadgets that fulfill your everyday needs. These gadgets can be anything from a grinder to a camcorder to a laptop to an IPad / IPhone. World is connected electronically through internet. It has become very easy to communicate to the people who are very far from you.

All electronic communication devices (Computer, laptop, IPhone, IPad etc.) are great help to Autism world too. The autistic kids and adults are now able to communicate through typing without looking at the person. It was a great help for them to open up and feel connected. So many apps are also developed for them to learn new skills (Academic, Language, Social etc.).

Examples of such people for whom the world is changed after learning the electronic communication devices are - Peyton Goddard and Carly Fleischmann. After starting communication through these devices, even they were able to tell their experiences they had in their childhood life.

Nothing is perfect in this world. Everything has its uses and misuses like people who have talents and shortcomings both. Same is the case with these electronic devices. It also depends on the people how are they using these devices. And mostly autistic kids are used to do things inappropriately. My son is one in those kids.

I have read few similar stories through blogs, I got to know that I am not alone. Few other parents are also facing the same problem. One example is here - Be A Good Mom (Stims oh boy the stims). I thought that I should also share my story. It's a very long story, so I am writing in parts. -

Before coming to US
My son Tanishk was born in India. When he was a toddler, he was cute and enjoyable kid. He used to cry very little. On his 1st birthday, he was not interested in people but their cell phones. We were very amazed  to see that how he has learnt to start music himself. He didn't respond to his name when he was 18 months old, but he used to respond when he hears phone ringing or music on TV. He loved to watch Indian ads on TV and few ads were his favorite ones. He liked to watch Bollywood actors Shahrukh Khan and Urmila Matondkar in ads. We were sure that he doesn't have hearing issues as when the ads started, he was used to come so fast even from another room. But, we were very much concerned that why he is not responding to us.

My husband used to work from home those days. Tanishk was so much fascinated by his laptop like all the kids. He used to press buttons to explore how it works. One day, we saw that he was sitting on the laptop. My husband had to work in closed room and he had to put off the computer when he was not there.

We used to make different sounds and calling him in hope that he will respond to us. But no, he never respond to any noise except TV or phone. He used to respond only one word - "Orange". Orange was his first favorite fruit and still he loves it.

After coming to US

At early age, Tanishk was interested in all the electronic gadgets like all the kids. So, we didn't give much thought about it. We came to US when he was 2 years old. As time passed, Tanishk kept exploring the electronic gadgets. He  had learnt how to operate Phone, TV, DVD player, Computer. We were very happy that he used to watch videos and also liked to listen to the music.

But problem started when we realize that he wants to watch the particular video / particular part of the video or to listen to the particular song. He wanted to repeat videos and music again & again. We couldn't leave him alone as he kept pressing buttons on the DVD player or computer.

He learnt to operate the computer, and also learnt to start YouTube. Earlier, he was used to ask us for particular video or songs on YouTube. He learnt himself to type and started to watch the videos on YouTube. Once more, we were amazed to see that. He used to listen to appropriate songs. Everything was going fine.

One day, I realized that he has started to stim on the computer too. It happened gradually. He used to enjoy and we were happy that he is enjoying. He started to ask for the computer every time, he gets it when no one is there, he started to play windows media player and see patterns (visual), he started to watch inappropriate (not appropriate for his age) videos, he plays the videos and gets excited (jumps, shakes hands, runs here & there), doesn't want to leave the computer, melt-downs (jumping, banging, stomping) started when computer is taken away.