Computer Stimming - Part 3

Continuing from the stories Computer Stimming Part 1 and Computer Stimming Part 2, this is the final part of the story. I don't want to get anyone bored, but without mentioning all these incidents, I won't be able to explain about computer stimming which is a big part of my life. How this affected me and my son's life, his learning, his thinking, his attitude and his behaviors. Computer and other electronic gadgets were feeding him continuously and became hindrance to his learning. He kept talking repetitively what he heard as I mentioned in part 2. 

Till June, 2012, I was very much frustrated and upset about his computer stimming. But, I was not able to control this situation fully as I was not there always to control his access to electronic gadgets. My younger son was born in 2009 and he also needed my attention most of the time. So, I had to switch myself between these two kids. 

Without explaining my situation, this post won't get finished. I was alone with these two kids. My husband used to come late after 7:30 PM. Tanay, my younger son was too sensitive to the noise and Tanishk was very loud when he used to make tantrums. (Still, he is very loud. I can not stand with him, when he shouts and screams.) When I try to take away computer from him, he used to make tantrums and very loud noises. So, when Tanay was sleeping, I did let him do whatever he is doing.

In June 2012, when it became a little easy to make Tanay busy in something else when I was working with Tanishk, I decided to not to give computer to him. How can I forget that day? He came from the school and he asked for computer. He kept asking, crying, screaming, banging, stomping, hitting for 1 hour. Next day, same thing happened, but only for 10 minutes. After that day, his attention and focus were increased a lot. He doesn't touch the computer, and if he gets he gives it back in time. I don't let him stim on any gadget. That was the major achievement for me.

Still, he gets electronic gadgets but for the limited time and as a reward. He loves music. But now, he plays music appropriately and also play games appropriately. He reads stories. His focus is improved a lot. Still, sometimes he is tempted to do wrong things. Still, he repeats the talks from videos and audios. He sings songs and also tells stories.

Now, I can say that I have taken right decision. I told my readers this story for telling them - "Please don't let your child get lost into these electronic gadgets, he / she can learn them later. Engage them in other useful activities instead of TV and Computer. Use them for short time."

Computer Stimming - Part 2

As I have written in my earlier post Computer Stimming - Part 1, Tanishk learnt to use all the electronic gadgets. He knows what does he want. He learnt typing himself. He was always good in reading. He started reading in 2.5 years after he started speaking. His therapists used flash cards to teach to label things and then he learnt reading through flash cards and bumble bee videos. We never had to teach him reading.

Tanishk used to watch his favorite videos on YouTube - TOONBO "ABCD", TOONBO "Alphabet Song" and Dancing babies with diapers (indian version video). He also got interested in Hindi songs and he used to ask us his favorite songs on YouTube - Pocket Mein Rocket Hai, Yeh ishq hai, Nagada Nagada and Suraj Hua Maddham. He learnt to start these songs himself.

When he became an expert in YouTube, he started to explore more videos. He started to watch any video (Not meant for his age). He also explored more things on the computer. His favorite program on the computer is Windows Media Player. He used to listen to the songs on the windows media player and liked to see the patterns on the screen. He gets excited by looking at patterns and starts to jump, laugh, run here & there. I became a little bit scared when I saw him showing odd behaviors.

He had learnt to use every electronic gadget - iTouch, iPad, iPhone, Computer, DVD Player, TV and Wii. He was an expert using all the gadgets appropriately, but he was only interested to use them inappropriately. He started to go into the settings and do the changes. He used to shut down the system and restart again. He plays the games in the wrong way. He plays the same videos again & again. We tried to limit his access and only give him the electronic gadgets as the re-inforcer. But whenever the gadget was taken away, there were lot of tantrums (jumping, banging, shouting, screaming etc.).

Here, I want to mention that he is verbal and is also an expert in copying all the verbal tones (he says or sings the same way it was said or sung). His articulation is very good and copy all the talks he have heard. He also sings the music in same way, but all words are not clear. Later, he started to sing inappropriately knowingly. He is habitual of doing things inappropriately, even he knows what is appropriate.

Then he went one step ahead and started to forward all the videos and songs. He liked that forwarded noise and became habitual of it. And he started to repeat the same forwarded noise verbally. That made me feel very upset.

So, electronic gadgets are his obsession. In the morning, he wants them. Whole day, he wants them, In the night before sleep, he wants them on the bed. He lost interest in other things totally. He does other tasks only to get his favorite gadgets and to use them inappropriately.

Computer Stimming - Part 1

This is era of technology. World is changed into the electronic world. Today, you will find electronic gadgets that fulfill your everyday needs. These gadgets can be anything from a grinder to a camcorder to a laptop to an IPad / IPhone. World is connected electronically through internet. It has become very easy to communicate to the people who are very far from you.

All electronic communication devices (Computer, laptop, IPhone, IPad etc.) are great help to Autism world too. The autistic kids and adults are now able to communicate through typing without looking at the person. It was a great help for them to open up and feel connected. So many apps are also developed for them to learn new skills (Academic, Language, Social etc.).

Examples of such people for whom the world is changed after learning the electronic communication devices are - Peyton Goddard and Carly Fleischmann. After starting communication through these devices, even they were able to tell their experiences they had in their childhood life.

Nothing is perfect in this world. Everything has its uses and misuses like people who have talents and shortcomings both. Same is the case with these electronic devices. It also depends on the people how are they using these devices. And mostly autistic kids are used to do things inappropriately. My son is one in those kids.

I have read few similar stories through blogs, I got to know that I am not alone. Few other parents are also facing the same problem. One example is here - Be A Good Mom (Stims oh boy the stims). I thought that I should also share my story. It's a very long story, so I am writing in parts. -

Before coming to US
My son Tanishk was born in India. When he was a toddler, he was cute and enjoyable kid. He used to cry very little. On his 1st birthday, he was not interested in people but their cell phones. We were very amazed  to see that how he has learnt to start music himself. He didn't respond to his name when he was 18 months old, but he used to respond when he hears phone ringing or music on TV. He loved to watch Indian ads on TV and few ads were his favorite ones. He liked to watch Bollywood actors Shahrukh Khan and Urmila Matondkar in ads. We were sure that he doesn't have hearing issues as when the ads started, he was used to come so fast even from another room. But, we were very much concerned that why he is not responding to us.

My husband used to work from home those days. Tanishk was so much fascinated by his laptop like all the kids. He used to press buttons to explore how it works. One day, we saw that he was sitting on the laptop. My husband had to work in closed room and he had to put off the computer when he was not there.

We used to make different sounds and calling him in hope that he will respond to us. But no, he never respond to any noise except TV or phone. He used to respond only one word - "Orange". Orange was his first favorite fruit and still he loves it.

After coming to US

At early age, Tanishk was interested in all the electronic gadgets like all the kids. So, we didn't give much thought about it. We came to US when he was 2 years old. As time passed, Tanishk kept exploring the electronic gadgets. He  had learnt how to operate Phone, TV, DVD player, Computer. We were very happy that he used to watch videos and also liked to listen to the music.

But problem started when we realize that he wants to watch the particular video / particular part of the video or to listen to the particular song. He wanted to repeat videos and music again & again. We couldn't leave him alone as he kept pressing buttons on the DVD player or computer.

He learnt to operate the computer, and also learnt to start YouTube. Earlier, he was used to ask us for particular video or songs on YouTube. He learnt himself to type and started to watch the videos on YouTube. Once more, we were amazed to see that. He used to listen to appropriate songs. Everything was going fine.

One day, I realized that he has started to stim on the computer too. It happened gradually. He used to enjoy and we were happy that he is enjoying. He started to ask for the computer every time, he gets it when no one is there, he started to play windows media player and see patterns (visual), he started to watch inappropriate (not appropriate for his age) videos, he plays the videos and gets excited (jumps, shakes hands, runs here & there), doesn't want to leave the computer, melt-downs (jumping, banging, stomping) started when computer is taken away.

Differences between Tics, Compulsive Behavior, and Self Stimulation

Here is another post from "Autism Discussion Page". It's a nice explanation of different behaviors shown by kids with autism. -

Differences between Tics, Compulsive Behavior, and Self Stimulation

Are your child’s repetitive behaviors tics, compulsive behaviors, or self stimulation? The repetitive behaviors in all three conditions serve different functions. Tics are a neurologically driven, often involuntary. They can be very jerky, not a smooth rhythmic pattern, and often involuntary. They usually involve motor musclegroups (eye blinking, facial twitching, etc.) or vocal noises, sniffing, throat clearing, or snorting type patterns. Usually the child has multiple motor patterns, and at least one vocal tic. They seem to serve no functional purpose for the child. The child may feel the “urge” coming on, but have very difficult time stopping them. The child do not enjoy the tics, and often feels frustrated in not being able to control them.

A true “compulsive behavior” (as compared to a fixation) is driven by anxiety and often result from “obsessive thoughts”. The person feels driven to do it because of anxiety and will become more anxious if you block it's occurrence. They are aware of and have some control over the behavior, but feel “compelled” to do it, and feel very anxious if they don't do it. They often do not feel good, the child is driven to do it, because they feel anxious if they don’t. The disorder can consist of strong repetitive obsessive thought patterns (intense worries, exaggerated fears, etc.), compulsive behavior patterns (washing hands over and over, repeatedly opening and shutting doors, compulsive orderliness, etc.), or both.

Self stimulation is a more voluntary, controlled sensory seeking to calm and organize the nervous system. These repetitive behavior is used to sooth and calm the nervous system when over-aroused, alert the nervous system when under-aroused, and block out unwanted stimulation when overwhelmed. They usually consist of repetitive “rhythmic” movement, auditory, or visual patterns. Self stimulation is usually a voluntary pattern the child uses to help regulate their nervous system. Usually if the repetitive pattern, is rhythmic in nature, and feels good, it is not tics or OCD, but self stimulatory.

No More Melatonin

Still, I feel that I am dreaming. Yes, it's definitely like a dream. Every night, Tanishk sleeps very easily without Melatonin. No screams, no shouting, no crying, and no fight. When Tanishk was younger, all nights were nightmares. We used to spend hours to get him to sleep and there no night when he slept without screams and shouting.

I remember when Tanishk was an infant he had a colic problem and every night he used to cry. I used to sit with him in my lap almost every night. When he became a toddler, he was constipated. It was very difficult to get him to sleep day or night. Every time it was a one hour job.

He became so active that he started to avoid sleeping. Every time he wanted to either watch TV or videos, listen to music etc. Even we switched off the lights, he didn't want to lie down on the bed. It was very difficult for us to get him to sleep. He slept little and we were worried about his health as he was active all the time.

We talked to other parents and the doctors. Everyone suggested that we should give him Melatonin so that he can sleep easily. We started to give him Melatonin and it was very effective. He used to sleep within few minutes after taking Melatonin. It was so much effective that a very little piece of tablet also worked. I used to give him very little. We were happy that he was sleeping nicely. But still we were not happy that he needs medicine for sleeping, he should take his sleep natural way.

I tried to get him to sleep without Melatonin several times. He used to lie down, but continuously he was restless. And his behaviors (continuously touching his nose, toes, lip picking, scratch over the body, grinding his teeth, changing his sides, asking for water) & vocal stimming was not letting him sleep. Every time I was exhausted & frustrated after his sleep. So we kept giving him Melatonin.

I researched about Melatonin and it's effects - I got few articles. Melatonin Side Effects and Melatonin Side Effects on Autistic kid. After that I wanted to stop giving Melatonin totally.

One month back our friend Neena came to our house and we discussed a lot of things with her. We discussed Tanishk's behaviors and she told us about how to deal with sensory issues. She suggested us OT for him and also suggested few tips at home. We told her that Tanishk doesn't sleep without Melatonin. She was shocked to hear that and said "Are you serious? He has definitely sensory issues." She suggested that we should let him carry some weighty things so that he gets tired and feels sleepy. She also suggested that we should massage his head, hands & feet with almond oil while he is trying to sleep. This will help him sleep easily.

Surprisingly, it helped a lot. Really, it was amazing. Now Tanishk sleeps with in half an hour. He still resists, still restless, still vocal stimming. But he calms down after massage and gets to sleep. No shouting, no screaming, no tantrums. I am so much relieved now. No more Melatonin. Thanks Neena!!