Happy New Year

Christmas and New Year are knocking at the door... It's the time of the year to be joyful and merry. Enjoy the spirit of the season and wish your friends, family, acquaintances a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. - Charles Dickens

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. - Harlan Miller

Happy Thanksgiving Day

He who thanks but with the lips

Thanks but in part;

The full, the true Thanksgiving

Comes from the heart.

- J.A. Shedd

For flowers that bloom about our feet;

For tender grass, so fresh, so sweet;

For song of bird, and hum of bee;

For all things fair we hear or see,

Father in heaven, we thank Thee!

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

For each new morning with its light,

For rest and shelter of the night,

For health and food, for love and friends,

For everything Thy goodness sends.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

O Lord that lends me life, Lend me a heart replete with thankfulness! - William Shakespeare

Some hindi quotes -

on shri sainathaya namah,
sai nath aap mujhe is duniya mein leke aaye shukriya...
mujhe aise maa baap diye jo kisi bhagwan se kam nahi hai...shukriya
mujhe zindagi mein khushi di...shukriya
kisi cheez ki kami nahi hone di.... shukriya
mere har dukh ko durr kiya aur kar rahe hai..shukriya
mujhe pyar kiya..mujhe apnaya....shukriya
meri galtiyon ko maaf kiya..shukriya
mujhe dusra mauka diya...shukriya
mujhe himmat di,sahayata ki...shukriya
aapko jitna shukriya bolun kam hai....par shukriya sainath ki aapki kripa mujhpe hai sainath..
yahi kripa banaye rakhna sainath.....
shukriya baba

- Unknown

God bless the whole world, no exceptions!

Happy Deepavali

May God shower his

choicest blessings on you.

Wishing you happiness, good

health & a great year ahead…

Happy Diwali…

Sending you smiles for every

moment of your special day,

Have a wonderful time & Happy Diwali.

i am intelligent

I recently read a book "i am intelligent" written by Peyton Goddard and Dianne Goddard. "This is the story of a child who, although unable to express herself, lives fully aware of her limiting circumstances."

Peyton was having multiple disorders and also non-verbal. Her mother Dianne did everything, what she could do to help her daughter. She went to several doctors to treat her physical symptoms and behaviors. She made every effort to make her daughter learn new skills, to attend school, not to institutionalize her and also to make new friends.

As Peyton was unable to express, Dianne had to guess everything about her daughter. She herself didn't know, what are her daughter's thoughts. She wasn't aware, what Peyton suffered in her absence and she was abused by her own relatives who were supposed to babysit her.

As Dianne was eager to do anything to help Peyton, she heard about Facilitated Communication (FC) when Peyton was 22 years old. Through FC, Peyton started to type with the support of facilitator. On that day, whole life was changed for her and her family. She was able to communicate now. She told everything to her mother, what are her feelings, likes, dislikes, desires, expectations etc. and also she told about what she suffered in her earlier life.

With the new technology of FC, she was able to study in the college and also passed the exams. She was able to make new friends, to meet people, to teach other children and was involved in various activities. She is now writer, poet, advocate for inclusion and also she has her own website http://peytongoddard.com/. Her wisdom is now sought by eductaors, parents, doctors and community groups. 

I like her saying "mute in speaking is not necessarily sign of mute in ideas".

The Secret

Few months back, I was so much frustrated and was in depression. It seems that everything was out of my control and I was not able to handle anything. I was very much upset. I kept complaining about my life whenever I talk to others. Then one of my friends suggested me a book - "The Secret" written by Rhonda Byrne. That book changed my life.

I got the book from the library and read it. As I was reading the book page by page, my thinking was also changing. I started to see same things with different perception. My all negative thoughts automatically converted into positive thoughts. My whole attitude towards life was changed. I could feel changes in myself and I found that others also felt same in me.

I am not changed, I am the same person. I am following the same routine and am doing same things whatever I was used to do earlier. Still, I feel frustration and stress, still I have complaints against life and people around me. Still, I get some negative thoughts in my mind.

But, my thinking process is changed. Now, I am able to convert my negative thoughts into positive thoughts easily. Now, I can easily control my frustration and think ahead. Still, I have complaints, but now I am more able to express my feelings without any negative comments.

Still, sometimes I face problems. Still, I get frustrated. Still, I get upset. When again this situation occurs - I know, I need to read the book again. I bought the book, read the book again. After seeing my changed attitude, my husband also read it. He also liked the book. I also suggested the book to my family, friends and relatives. Really, "The Secret" is a great book. It's a must read book.

Here are few snippets from the book -

Two important sentences in the book - "Like attracts like." and "Thoughts become things." It means that most of events in your life depend on your thoughts. And I also find that very true. Really, the author has explained it very nicely that your life depends on your thoughts. Whatever you think continuously, you will attract it.

But there is no filter for want or don't want. So, if you will say - "I don't want to do this". You will get more of that. So, think mostly what you want and avoid any negation in your thoughts. It is explained very nicely that if you want to receive something from the universe, you have to ask for it and believe it that you will get it definitely. Think, ask, have faith, be positive and act like you have received it.

Here are few lines what I like them very much - "Action is a word that can imply 'work' to some people, but inspired action will not feel like work at all. The difference between inspired action and action is this: Inspired action is when you are acting to receive. If you are in action to try and make it happen, you have slipped backward. Inspired action is effortless, and it feels wonderful because you are on the frequency of receiving."

"Imagine life as a fast moving river. When you are acting to make something happen it will feel as if you are going against the current of the river. It will feel hard and like a struggle. When you are acting to receive from the Universe, you will feel as if you are flowing with the current of the river. It will feel effortless. That is the feeling of inspired action, and of being in the flow of the Universe and life."

"Gratitude is a powerful process for shifting your energy and bringing more of what you want into your life. Be grateful for what you already have, and you will attract more good things."

Major Behavioral Updates

My sons - Tanishk (6 yrs old) & Tanay (2 yrs old) are having very different personalities. But, they both are great in their own ways. They both are handsome, lovely, affectionate and joyful. One year before I posted about interaction between them - Tanishk With His Little Brother. In this one year, they have got developed new skills and behaviors. Tanay is very particular about things. He fights with his brother for things and he doesn't want to share anything. Tanishk also fights for things he wants.

I was reading last year's posts when I started this blog - Tanishk, Tanishk's Birthday and Major Behavioral Changes. Tanishk has now started to understand his environment and other things. He now understands what is said to him. He has got new skills in writing words & numbers. He is now working on comprehension skills and recalling events. He has got more eye contact, calmness. He now listens carefully and does the task with his attention.

Tanishk has changed a lot. Now, he is so much aware of the environment. Sometimes, he also comments on things going on in his environment. The comments are not so often, but they are very appropriate. He is sometimes very much stubborn, but all kids are like that. Throwing tantrums and meltdowns are very less. He listens and understands most of the things, but he is not sure that how to react.

Both brothers fight with each other, but also like each other. First time I saw Tanishk to observe somebody. He observes his brother and tries to do the same thing. Two days back, they were fighting for playing with a red car. They wanted the same thing. First I told them to share the car. But they don't understand. I taught them to take turns - Everyone had chance to have car when I am counting till 10 and then give. Then they themselves started counting till 10 and gave car to each other. Next day, they were fighting for another toy. I heard that Tanishk was counting till 10 and he gave the toy to Tanay himself. He didn't get any prompts. He himself initiated and I was amazed.

In last 2 months, there were more incidents where Tanishk was behaving appropriately. He seems more connected and was talking nicely. I have mentioned one of those events in my last post - Hi Neera. He has also started to show his new interests. He likes to stand outside and watch all the cars. He likes to play basket ball. He sits in the library very nicely. He himself chooses the books to read. One day, we were in the car and I was sitting on the backseat with him. He looked at me and he was smiling continuously. There was a light in his eyes. I was also smiling at him. It seemed he was saying - "Mumma, don't worry. I am here with you. Just don't give up." I feel very proud of him.

Hi Neera

Sometimes, we find ourselves shocked at the moment we see unexpected behaviors in our kids - whether it is good or bad. Two days back I had such a good moment. I was really amazed to see this and felt very good about it. Such moments increase my hope and motivate me to keep going on.

Tanishk read my name somewhere on the book - "Neera". He suddenly started to say - "Hi Neera". He said it 2-3 times. I thought, he is just repeating as usual. But he came to me. He looked into my eyes. He said - "Hi Neera". And was still looking into my eyes and was waiting for my reaction. I was just shocked and laughed. He also felt happy to see my reaction and laughed. It seems that he was saying to me - "Mom, I am there. Please don't give up on me." Thank God, I have such lovely kids and family.

Locked Up

On Friday afternoon, a very small incident was happened. I was busy in something. My elder son Tanishk was sleeping. My 2 yr old son Tanay went to the bathroom. He was talking a lot. I thought, he is lying down with his brother and talking to him. I went to see what's going on. I saw that he was not on the bed. I called him; he was locked up in the bathroom. He had locked his door from inside. He wasn't aware that he has locked him up. He was saying in his regular voice - "Mumma, open the door".

I was scared but I didn't want to be panic. I thought Tanay will get scared. I calmed down myself and asked him to turn the knob. He was listening, but he didn't understand. I bent on my knees and tried to see through the space under the door. He was standing far away from the door. I just told him to come to the door. He came. I told him to turn the knob. He turned it. He was unlocked. I got relief. He was playing - "Knock knock".

This incident reminded me the incident happened when Tanishk was 3 years old and he had locked him up in his aunt's room. He is always fascinated about his aunt's things - cosmetics, jewelry etc. No one noticed when he entered into the room and had locked himself there. When we realized, we told him to open the door. He was lost in something. Every one called him, shouted - "Turn the knob, open the door". He just repeated the words - "open the door".

My hubby went on the roof to the room's window to tell him to open the door. But he wasn't aware of his presence. He wasn't listening to anyone. We all were very much scared. He was inside more than one hour. He himself was not scared and afraid. He was just lost in doing something. What is he doing inside? What to do? Should we break the door or call for help?

His aunt called 911 to get help. The police came. Everyone thought that they will break the door. I don't remember what he did actually. He just pushed the door back and door was opened. Tanishk was standing there without his pants on and he was playing with his aunt's cosmetics. He had spread her face powder on the floor.

I think even today when he is now 6 years old, he won't open the door. He will just get lost and will be happy that he is not disturbed by somebody until unless he needs something. That was one of the major experiences we have with autism. :)

Tanishk's Birthday 2012

13 May. That was the day when Tanishk was born 6 years before. That was also the day when my mother was born. And this day was very special this year, because this day was also mother's day for 2012. 

Tanishk is now 6 years old. When his birthday was near we were wondering that how should we celebrate it this year, I went through last year's experience. I tried to analyze differences between him as of today and one year before. I was surprised to see that there was no major change. 

Tanishk still doesn't understand the concept of birthday. He wasn't excited much. But he has attended more birthdays at school and at other places. So, he knows only birthday means - cake, candle blowing, cutting the cake and eating the cake. He wasn't excited much about his birthday & celebrations.

Definitely, he has improved academically. He has skills of reading, writing, math, story comprehension, coloring, cutting and pasting, etc. And he is now more understanding and more aware of the environment. He has become more manipulative too. But his vocal stimming (scripting) and sensory issues are same. His social aspect is same. He is not interested in others until unless he is going to get any favorite reward. He has not any concept of getting and giving gifts. He is also not comfortable in crowds.

So, I thought we should celebrate his birthday in such a way that he is comfortable and more aware of the events. This time, I made this as a family event. I just called his grandparents and aunt for his birthday. I showed him excitement about his birthday. I kept telling him that we will celebrate his birthday and I will bake a special cake for him. I also told him that his grandparents and aunt will come. He is comfortable with them.

We decorated our living room a little bit to feel there is a special day. We let him to enjoy in bath tub. He wore new clothes. We arranged our dining table for food. He was aware that something special is there. He was not demanding any gadgets. But still, he wasn't talking much.

When his grandparents and aunt came, he was happy. His grandmother gave him a gift, but he was not behaving properly. I prompted him to take the gift and say "Thank you". I prompted him to open the gift and see what was there. I showed him excitement to encourage him. It was shirt and pant. I told him to say "Thank you dadi (grandmother), it's a nice shirt." He wore it when I prompted him. The best part of all that was, he wasn't resisting at all.

I had baked the GFCF nut vanilla cake and decorated it like an angry bird face. I bake two cakes - yellow and white. I layered the cakes with some pink buttercream frosting in between. I cut the cakes in shape of angry bird. I spread pink & yellow buttercream frosting on the top and sides of the cake. Then I used green sprinklez for eyebrows, apple and walnuts for eyes, gfcf wafer for nose.

GFCF Angry Bird Cake

We lit the candles on the cake and told him to blow the candles. He was nervous and upset while blowing the candles. His little brother Tanay was also trying to low the candles. But none was able to do that. At last, I blew the candles. Tanishk cut the cake and ate the cake. He liked it very much and asked for more cake.

I told Tanay to give gift to Tanishk and say "Happy Birthday". He was more excited than Tanishk. He gave it to Tanishk. Then we prompted Tanishk to say thanks and open the gift. It was his favorite cookies.

I was happy that I didn't let him get lost on his birthday like last year and I am hoping to do same to keep him connected with every one of us. :)

Mother's Day 2012

13 May 2012, Mother's Day. Whole world was celebrating mother's day. But for me, this mother's day was very very special. This was the day, when my mother was born. And also this was the day, when I became mother first time. I had to celebrate this day.

My mother has three sons & two daughters, and I am 4th one. But I am very far away from her. I am in US and she is in India. I haven't met her since 4 years. I hope I will go to meet her sooner. I miss her very much. She is a very nice lady and I am happy that she has got nice daughters-in-law too. They all respect her very much and she also considers them as her daughters. She is an introvert person and talks very less, but she and I share a lot of talks on phone. 13 May is her birthday too. So, I wish my mother Happy Mother's Day and Happy Birthday.

I also wish my mother-in-law Happy Mother's Day. She is opposite to my mother. She is an extrovert person and also enjoys talking on different things. She is very knowledgeable person and she is there to help every person any time. I respect her very much and she is also nice to me. She loves her grandsons very much and always ready to take care of them.

13 May 2006 was the day when I gave birth to my first son and became a mother. Now, I have two sons and I feel very proud of them. I also celebrated my son's birthday. I wish my son Happy Birthday and myself Happy Mother's Day too. I am very proud and thank God for blessing me with two great mothers and two lovely & affectionate sons.

Me with my sons - Tanishk & Tanay

I wish all the mothers in this world a very Happy Mother's Day. :)

Light It Up Blue

When Tanishk joined his current school placement in Sept of 2010, it was the biggest moment for us. It looked and felt like the end to struggles, a great achievement. We felt we won't have to think much after that..umm - worry ourselves to death - the thinking continued. We follow the school's instructions and methods. And I must admit that it helped us a lot. We took our time to learn, but we are getting there. We have a long way to go, like in any learning..

We knew that Tanishk has a photogenic face - he would add he is a good looker. His childhood photos were very good. But when he grew up, he started to make faces and kept showing behaviors. He doesn't stand still in front of the camera. Whenever, we take his pictures, they were on average. There were some good pictures too, in case we got him unaware.

Tanishk on the bean bag - 2006

Tanishk like a sports man - 2007

Tanishk in traditional dress on Diwali - 2007

Tanishk when he came to US - 2008

Tanishk at Rainforest Cafe - 2009

Tanishk sitting in the school van, first day to PCDI - 2010

When Tanishk came to US, he was non-verbal and non-responsive. When he was 18 months old, every one noticed that he is not responding to his name and doesn't listen. But, he used to respond on Hindi advertisements shown on the TV and to the phone ring. Whenever ads started, he ran to the TV from wherever he was. And the moment ads end, he was lost.

Whenever I called his name, he never responded. But whenever I uttered Orange, he came, even from another room. So, what was that? What would you say?

Thanks to all his therapists - Early Intervention or Private, who taught him talk. Thanks to early intervention, he verbalizes his needs. Thanks to his teachers at school and after school therapists, who worked with him. In that period, he was toilet trained. (Accidents happen, but not so often)

In the meantime, my husband was busy in trying to get Out of district placement for Tanishk as we wanted one on one therapy for him.We got a call from PCDI for his interview. There was one place vacant for next year. The staff people at PCDI worked with him for one hour. We were in the office. Special thanks to Laurie Paul Duddy, who made him familiar with the things which helped him in his personal interview. My husband recalls when the director stood up and grandly announced that the school was ready to induct Tanishk. I & my husband looked at each other silently for a few seconds.

Tanishk started at PCDI in Sept of 2010. He has completed 30 months in PCDI and he has learnt a lot there. He is more connected, attentive and focussed. He attends all the activities - reading, writing,   coloring, math, playing appropriately, comprehension skills, gym, yoga, group activities, social behavior, conversational skills, self-help activities (brushing teeth, dressing himself, eating food etc.)

Whenever PCDI asked for permission to take his pictures for any campaign or their newsletter, we acquiesced. We have everything to thank PCDI for.

Tanishk at PCDI - Halloween 2010

Tanishk celebrating his 5th birthday with his teacher Jamie at PCDI

Tanishk at Toys R Us Photo Shoot at PCDI (I got this from video on Toys R Us website one year before)

Tanishk at PCDI, watching TV - 2012

Tanishk at PCDI, watching TV - 2012

We totally forgot about that "Toys R Us" photo shoot. After one year of the event, we got a message that Tanishk is up on "Toys R Us" stores. We thought that he must be there in the store in a specific section. We reached the store and we were surprised. On the front door, there was a big poster with his picture and message for autism awareness.

Poster at Toys R Us Store

Toys R Us have also chosen his photo as cover photo on facebook - "Toys R Us" on Facebook

We are very proud of him. Thanks to the people who worked with him, who have taken his photo and who have chosen him for this campaign - "Light It Up Blue". I wish he spreads his light everywhere in this world and which helps increase awareness for autism.

No More Melatonin

Still, I feel that I am dreaming. Yes, it's definitely like a dream. Every night, Tanishk sleeps very easily without Melatonin. No screams, no shouting, no crying, and no fight. When Tanishk was younger, all nights were nightmares. We used to spend hours to get him to sleep and there no night when he slept without screams and shouting.

I remember when Tanishk was an infant he had a colic problem and every night he used to cry. I used to sit with him in my lap almost every night. When he became a toddler, he was constipated. It was very difficult to get him to sleep day or night. Every time it was a one hour job.

He became so active that he started to avoid sleeping. Every time he wanted to either watch TV or videos, listen to music etc. Even we switched off the lights, he didn't want to lie down on the bed. It was very difficult for us to get him to sleep. He slept little and we were worried about his health as he was active all the time.

We talked to other parents and the doctors. Everyone suggested that we should give him Melatonin so that he can sleep easily. We started to give him Melatonin and it was very effective. He used to sleep within few minutes after taking Melatonin. It was so much effective that a very little piece of tablet also worked. I used to give him very little. We were happy that he was sleeping nicely. But still we were not happy that he needs medicine for sleeping, he should take his sleep natural way.

I tried to get him to sleep without Melatonin several times. He used to lie down, but continuously he was restless. And his behaviors (continuously touching his nose, toes, lip picking, scratch over the body, grinding his teeth, changing his sides, asking for water) & vocal stimming was not letting him sleep. Every time I was exhausted & frustrated after his sleep. So we kept giving him Melatonin.

I researched about Melatonin and it's effects - I got few articles. Melatonin Side Effects and Melatonin Side Effects on Autistic kid. After that I wanted to stop giving Melatonin totally.

One month back our friend Neena came to our house and we discussed a lot of things with her. We discussed Tanishk's behaviors and she told us about how to deal with sensory issues. She suggested us OT for him and also suggested few tips at home. We told her that Tanishk doesn't sleep without Melatonin. She was shocked to hear that and said "Are you serious? He has definitely sensory issues." She suggested that we should let him carry some weighty things so that he gets tired and feels sleepy. She also suggested that we should massage his head, hands & feet with almond oil while he is trying to sleep. This will help him sleep easily.

Surprisingly, it helped a lot. Really, it was amazing. Now Tanishk sleeps with in half an hour. He still resists, still restless, still vocal stimming. But he calms down after massage and gets to sleep. No shouting, no screaming, no tantrums. I am so much relieved now. No more Melatonin. Thanks Neena!!

New Year 2012

Year 2012 has finally come and 2011 is gone forever. 2011 was very important year for our family. I took few moments to recollect major events of this year and I got few of them in my mind & have put my post Last Year 2011. 

We did not have any plans for how will we welcome new year. There were no invitations from friends and also we didn't want to go to restaurants or bars for new year celebrations as most of those events were for adults. I am also not good at throwing party, so what to do.

Tanay has got a new friend here in neighbourhood and his parents were also new in this area. They also didn't have any plans, so we just invited them. We didn't do anything special. My husband was busy whole day working from home. He was sad about it as he wasn't able to spend his day with kids.

Half day, I worked with Tanishk with his schedule and also with Tanay. And also I did the cleaning. Tanishk was OK. Just he was doing a lot of vocal stimming. Otherwise he was in good behavior and was listening to us. But yes, he was not complying everything as he didn't want to do. But he knew what we were saying to him. 

After lunch was done, I do some preparations. I cooked paav bhaaji and Veg Biryani. I baked 2 9" round cakes. Whenever there is an occasion, I try to bake a different cake just for my experiment as I don't get any chance to do trials. So, I baked 2 GFCF strawberry cakes, put the strawberry buttercream frosting in between them, sides & also on top of the cake and decorated the cake by the almonds. All was from scratch, no readymade mix or frosting was used. 

I liked this cake very much. This was the first time, I myself was satisfied with the cake. The cake was so tasty, no one could tell that it was GFCF cake. (I think so) 

Buttercream frosting was applied on the sides too

The family came with flowers. We were happy to see them. The kids also enjoyed the gathering. Tanishk was a bit lost. We all chat with each other. We had some tea and snacks.

We had dinner. All liked Paav Bhaji & veg biryani. Tanishk ate veg biryani & Tanay ate paav bhaji. Then Tanishk cut the cake with me. All ate the cake and they really liked the cake. Yes, they said so.

After that, we went to see fireworks at metuchen. Fireworks were very good. We were happy to see that we don't need to go to see fireworks anywhere else. It's just 5 minute drive from our place. We packed all the kids tightly for not to catch cold and went to see fireworks.

Tanishk was closing his ears but he was happy - look at his face :)

Tanishk was happy to see the fireworks, but Tanay was scared because of so much noise. He was looking at the lights in the sky too, but he was crying continuously. I took him to the car and close the car door to avoid the noise of the crackers. I didn't want to torture him. 

This was the way how we welcomed new year 2012. I wish all my fans & readers "Happy New Year 2012" and success in their lives.