Tanishk's Birthday 2011

13 May 2011. Now Tanishk is 5 years old. The time passes so fast. But still Tanishk doesn't understand the concept of birthday. He wasn't excited at all. He is lost in his own world so much that he just pays attention those things which interests him. He has learned so many skills but there is no excitement and no curiosity.

On his birthday, we had his school visit day and he went to his school with us. My husband taught him to say "Thank You" when someone greets him saying "Happy Birthday". And he did well. He was nervous when we reached there. I think he was bit upset because of our presence there. But when his teachers wish him, he responded by saying "Thank You". That was great.

I baked a GFCF chocolate cake with chocolate frosting for his birthday and gave it to his teacher. After school visit, we left him there. He was upset when saying bye to us. I think that is good. Now he feels connected with us and he is behaving like a normal kid. Who wants to go to school?

GFCF chocolate cake with chocolate frosting

He came back from the school with his gifts. But he was not curious about the gifts and even he is not able to tell the things happened at his school. I asked "Did you eat the chocolate cake?" He said "yes".

15 May 2011, my husband has arranged party at his sister's house for Tanishk's birthday. He put some tent on the deck area and also decorated the hall for party. He got few games - shooting, balls, bubbles, whistles, yellow car. He had planned more games but because of rain we couldn't do that. We got pizza, salad, rice, chhole and aloo ka raita in menu. I bake the GFCF cake (Vanilla Cake with butter cream frosting and decorated by sprinkles) and we had ordered a regular cake. On the regular cake, there was Tanishk's picture.

GFCF cake (Vanilla Cake with butter cream frosting and decorated by sprinkles)

We invited 6 families and 4 families came. There were total 9 kids (5 boys and 4 girls). Everyone enjoyed the party and were happy. My little one also enjoyed the presence of other kids. All liked both of the cakes and food. Kids really enjoyed the bubbles and tent game. My husband was involved playing with the kids.

But where was Tanishk? Again he was lost and didn't want to go with the crowd. He did everything for what he was prompted to do. But he wasn't interested in any of the activities except bubbles. Was he aware that all these people gathered only for him? No. He didn't show any awareness, curiosity and happiness. That's the autism which we experience daily. :)

Tanishk with his little brother

When Tanay was born and came home from the hospital, Tanishk was neutral. He totally ignored Tanay. But sooner he realized that something is changed. We had to protect Tanay as Tanishk was not aware that he can hurt Tanay and he was used to jump anywhere. For Tanishk, Tanay was not a living being. He thought that it's a matter of few days and things will be same like before.

Tanay's sleep was very light. He was used to wake up on every little noise, and Tanishk was used to scream and shout loudly. Still this problem is there. We aren't able to tell Tanishk that his little brother is sleeping and he should not disturb him.

Tanay started to make noises, moving and became active. Tanishk started to realize Tanay's presence. When Tanay cried, Tanishk noticed and he tried to imitate his little brother's crying. As a surprise, he liked Tanay's crying. He also noticed that when Tanay falls down he cries a lot. He started to push him and make him fall down on the floor. He also tried to pull him by hand on the bed's edge and make him fall down.

It was very difficult to tell him that he should not do this. He didn't understand any reasoning. He just knew that if I like something, I should do that. His teacher told us that "Don't make a big deal of it. Just encourage the good behavior. Reinforce every time he shows good behavior."

My husband started to tell him to give kisses to Tanay or give any toy or feed him or play with him. Tanishk showed some resistance but he did for his strong reinforcers. After few time, his pushing behaviors diminished.

Tanay became more active, started to follow Tanishk and trying to touch everything Tanishk is playing with. He wants to do everything what Tanishk is doing. Wherever Tanishk goes, Tanay follows. Tanishk tries to run away from him, but Tanay doesn't give up. Tanishk doesn't want to share anything. That feeling led to another behavior.

Tanishk tries to move Tanay's hands from the things what he doesn't want him to touch. He doesn't want Tanay to share me too. He doesn't let him to play with toys and to jump on the trampoline.

As Tanishk is growing, he has started to understand many things. He knows that few things he does, he shouldn't do. But he can't help it. He tries very hard, but still he is not able to control himself fully. Tanay is also growing up and he loves his brother very much. I hope they will be friends when grown up and will take care of each other.

Mother's Day 2011

8 May is mother's day. I love my mother very much and I appreciate her what she did for her five children. I respect her not because she is my mother, she is very kind and humble lady. She stayed very strong in tough times too. She did not leave her own values and didn't make difference between her five children. I feel very happy when my mother confides in me and tells her true feelings. My mother is my best friend.

My mother

Today, I am also mother of two sons. Tanishk & Tanay. Regardless of any differences in them, I love both equally. Tanishk is ASD kid and 5 years old. He is different, but still he is cute, lovable, affectionate kid in his own way. Tanay is a typical kid and 17 months old. He is also a very cute and affectionate boy.

Before having kids I used to think that how will I manage and look after my kids. I didn't have any knowledge. But with a great support of my Mother-in-law and my husband it became possible. When Tanishk was diagnosed as autistic, everyone in the family was there to support me.

When my both kids come to me and hug me, kiss me, play with me, look for me, want something from me and give a lovely smile, I feel satisfied and happy somewhere in me. Sometimes I feel very much frustrated, stressed, angry when they do something wrong, showing behaviors, shouting, screaming and crying. But in that all, they have taught me patience too. After few minutes when I see a smile there on their faces, I feel relief from frustration and stress.

I thank God blessing me with two nice and lovely sons. I pray God to bless them happiness, lots of love, intelligence, good nature and healthy life. I feel a completeness when they are standing with me and showering their love on me.